You shall not covet your neighborโs house: you shall not covet your neighborโs wife, or male or female slave, or ox or ass, or anything that is your neighborโs.
In 2010, two Torah Academy of Bergen County students requested that I adjudicate a dispute related to the issues discussed above. Young man number one was playing basketball by himself when his friend, young man number two arrived and asked if he could join him in a competitive game of basketball. Young man number one replied that he did not want to engage in a game of basketball since he was wearing brand new eyeglasses and he did not want them to break. Young man number two then pressured his friend to join him in a competitive game and youngster number one reluctantly acquiesced. However, young man number one stipulated before the game began that to avoid breaking his new eyeglasses they would play โnot aggressivelyโ.
The prohibition of lo tachmod (Shemot 20:14) forbids one to pressure another to sell or give him an item the former desires (Shulchan Aruch C.M. 359:10). While young man number probably did not covet a specific item, the prohibition of lo tachmod nonetheless teaches that it is wrong to pressure someone to do something he does not wish to do. Indeed, the Shulchan Aruch (E H. 154:21) does not permit pressuring a husband to give his wife a get unless the husbandโs improper behavior justifies such pressure (see Gray Matter 1:19 for further discussion of this issue).
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Anyone who covets a servant, a maidservant, a house or utensils that belong to a colleague, or any other article that he can purchase from him and pressures him with friends and requests until he agrees to sell it to him, violates a negative commandment,even though he pays much money for it, as Exodus 20:14 states: "Do not covet."
The violation of this commandment is not punished by lashes, because it does not involve a deed. One does not violate this commandment until one actually takes the article he covets, as reflected by Deuteronomy 7:25: "Do not covet the gold and silver on these statues and take it for yourself." Implied is that the Hebrew tachmod refers to coveting accompanied by a deed.
Anyone who desires a home, a wife, utensils, or anything else belonging to a colleague that he can acquire from him, violates a negative commandment at the time he thinks in his heart, "How is it possible to acquire this from him?" and his heart is aroused by the matter, as Deuteronomy 5:18 states: "Do not desire...." Desire refers to feelings in the heart alone.
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The Gemara asks: But if one who is suspected of financial dishonesty cannot be administered an oath, that which Rav Huna says with regard to the halakhot of bailees is difficult, as Rav Huna says that if a bailee did not return the deposit, claiming that it was lost or stolen, and says that he is prepared to pay for it, the judges nevertheless administer an oath to him that the item is not in his possession. Let us say that since he is suspected of financial dishonesty, he is suspect with regard to taking an oath as well.
Rav Aแธฅa of Difti said to Ravina: But by paying for the deposit instead of returning it, doesnโt the bailee violate the prohibition of: โYou shall not covet your neighborโs wife, nor his slave, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighborโsโ (Exodus 20:14)? One transgresses this prohibition by taking an item from another by force or deceit, even if one pays for it.
You [men] shall not covet your neighborโs wife. Likewise, none of you shall crave your neighborโs house, or field, or male or female slave, or ox, or ass, or anything that is your neighborโs.
The Holy One, Blessed be He, said : "Be jealous for My sake, were it not for envy, the world would not stand. A man would not plant a vineyard, marry a wife or build a house (Shoher Tob 37a). For all of these matters come about because one man envies his companion. If he builds a house, then another person will have it in mind to do likewise, and thus it is concerning a wife. And since the perpetuation of the world depends upon envy, let him dedicate all these envious qualities to God. If he builds a house let him build in it room for the study of Torah, a gathering place for the wise, a place where guests are welcomed, and a place where he does kindness to men. And thus did they say (Shohar Tov ibid). Had not Abraham been jealous he would have not acquired both worlds. And how was he envious? He asked Melchizedek, "How did you emerge from the Ark?" And Melchizedek answered, "Because of the charity that we did there," Abraham said to him, "What kind of charity could you do in the Ark; โ were there any poor people there? There was no one there except Noah and his sons, so to whom were you doing charity?" Melchizedek answered him : "With the animals, with the beasts and with the fowl. We did not sleep but were constantly giving food to all these living creatures all night long." At that moment Abraham said, "If these people had not done charity with the animals, beasts and fowl, they would not have emerged from the Ark, but because they did justice with them, they did emerge safely, then I who will do justice with all the children of man who are in the image of the Holy One, Blessed be He, will not this be all the more favorable in God's eyes?" At that moment "And he planted a tamarisk (eshel) in Beersheba" (Gen. 21:33). (The sages take each letter of the Hebrew word Eshel and they say that the word Eshel means a place where strangers can eat, drink and lodge.) In this manner, a man ought to, indeed, increase his zeal.